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an open call April 18, 2006

Posted by Matt Hurst in Uncategorized.

Several years back, after an absolute minimum of consideration, I came to this understanding:

Everyone thinks they’re special and others should be able to recognize it. Many people get frustrated when this does not happen. We think to ourselves “i’m not going to waste my time calling someone who doesn’t think i’m important to hang out with. if they think i’m important enough they’ll call me”. The problem comes because that other person is probably thinking the same thing – after all you think they’re special enough to accept their invitation. The result is too people waiting for the other to call, and neither willing to make it. It gets really disapointing for both – a total misunderstanding of judging self-worth.
In order to maintain friendships, the response is not to withdrawl and let others offer, but to keep reaching out. It can be easy to wait, but anything worth waiting for is worth acting on. You have to act on the presumption that at least one of you is waiting for the other to call, to agknowledge how special they really are. The alternative is too wasteful to consider, and you are special by making this effort. There is no way they’ll refuse when you make the first call.



1. betsushi - April 18, 2006

i never thought about that… good point!

2. eazymeat6969 - April 19, 2006

‘s another one of life’s tightrope acts, though, isn’t it? especially when it came for me calling girls: back in the day, when i was all hot-to-trot about dating, i would make sure to be the first to call, a few times if necessary (because chicks dig confidence, etc, etc). what happens? OMGZ YOU’RE NOT GIVING ME ENOUGH SPACE the end. sometimes even a phone call is enough to smother a person. (this applies to friends too, obviously.)

i guess then, like all subjective situations, it might warrant consideration depending on the person and whether you think they’re capable of calling you first.

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